how the last day of school went

• FIRST PERIOD
• everyone: LAST DAY OF SCHOOL HELL YES
• everyone inside their heads: this can't be happening
• SECOND PERIOD
• everyone: let's take pictures and doodle on the whiteboards and vault over tables
• everyone inside their heads: this isn't happening
• THIRD PERIOD
• everyone: let's run out of this class screaming "FREE FROM THE TYRANT"
• everyone inside their heads: it is impossible for this to happen
• FOURTH PERIOD
• everyone: I’m bored
• everyone inside their heads: the laws of the universe must be dismantled in order for this to happen
• FIFTH PERIOD
• everyone: oh my God, this is happening
• everyone inside their heads: oh my God, this is happening
• SIXTH PERIOD
• everyone: I'm going to pretend to be bored
• everyone inside their heads: this is the last time I'll sit in this desk, this is the last time I'll stare aimlessly out this window, this is the last time I'll be yelled at by this teacher, this may be the last time I ever even see this teacher, this is the end of a full year of friendships and gossip and makeups and breakups and schoolwork and projects and staying up until four in the morning because I procrastinated and sports and stress and bloodsweattears – I worked so hard to keep all my balls in the air, dammit, and now it's all erased in the course of a single day
• SEVENTH PERIOD
• everyone: let's talk about field day
• everyone inside their heads: can I stay inside this room forever?
• FIELD DAY
• everyone: I'm going to run and jump and horseplay and dance and draw with chalk and eat pizza, laugh raucously, run barefoot through the field, spin circles in the sun and talk about tomorrow like my world isn't crashing down around me
• everyone inside their heads: why am I acting like this instead of stretching the moments out as long as possible? why does this matter so much to me, dammit? it's the end of school, I'm on the cusp of three months of sweet blissful freedom, and while I'm taking pictures and goofing off, I'm wishing today could last through eternity. I'm afraid of tomorrow, I'm afraid of my future, I'm afraid of losing my friends and of being lost by my friends, and yet this is stuff I'm afraid of all the time… why is it all coming up now?
• END OF SCHOOL
• everyone: oh my god i can't help it anymore hug me cry with me why am i cryin gits sUMMER for gods sakes and yet im this enormous blubbery mess DON’T LEAVE ME
• everyone inside their heads: there are so many things I did, so many things I didn't do, so many things that I regret, that I'm proud of, that make me smile. I failed and I passed and I came in first place and I made friends and lost them and I fell in love and had my heart broken and I hate this school, I've hated it all the other one-eighty-odd days of the school year, and yet today I'm even hugging the people and teachers I hate, today the enormous crowd in front of the doors is pulling me in and I'm dragging the end out as long as possible instead of shooting out of the school like a bullet from a gun at the last bell. I'm going to wake up tomorrow and wonder whatthehell is wrong with me, and then get on with my summer, but for today, I feel okay. miserable…but okay.